I got into a debate or argument with a Christian “missionary” yesterday. I put missionary in quotations because while he is technically a missionary in title, he is not a missionary in the classical sense. He only lives in a house that serves bible studies, drives a van and picks up Christians to and from the ministry, and host video bible studies a few times a week. Does that make him deserve the title of missionary? I don’t know. Maybe?
Let me not digress any further. While he was driving me to the hospitality house for a night of fellowship, we got into a discussion about the blessing of Children, and God’s plan for the family. Which I will discuss in further detail in a separate article. I think I insulted him with this discussion because as I spoke about how God’s plan – especially concerning children he completely agreed. I, however knew that he only had four children and that he practice contraception to limit his family. So, I simply asked him, ” if you believe children are blessings, why would you limit them?” There seems to be a disconnect. True belief produces actions; it’s as simply as that.
This sparked strong emotional dissent and a weak justification from his part; as well as, him sharing a story of a friend who had twelve children, who refused to condemn Christians who kill abortion doctors. I had to interject at this point and say I don’t believe that is murder either. It is sin because God says mine is vengeance says the Lord. We should leave justice to God and the State and executing justice are selves is a lack of trust, a violation of psalms 40:4.
Is this, however, murder? I think not. God system of justice is quite clear. If you murder a man in cold blood (we see in the scripture there are certain circumstances when if a man does kill another man it is not murder because of the mitigating circumstances) that the righteous punishment is death. Therefore, a man who make his living killing innocent children deserves death. That would be justice.
Once again I am digressing. The point here is not to get into the details of the argument but to speak about the reverse argument technique. So many times when you engage into an argument with someone it is in vain. This is because they are completely closed-minded to the reality that you could be speaking truth or have something worthy to say. They only want to prove that they are right and you are wrong, without ever truly considering the other side or position. This is absolute folly. If you going to take the time and effort to discuss a topic with a fellow believer you should at least try to get a full perspective of their side of the argument.
You should not assume that you know their side, and most importantly the ramification of their beliefs (second and third order effects). This is where so many people go, so, wrong. They ignorantly state that they know your beliefs and counter them on their faulty perception of the consequences of believing such. This makes you, on the defensive, have to dumbfoundedly try to defend your self from multiple strawman. They walk away thinking they have destroyed your solid philosophical or theological beliefs, and you walk away irritated that you views where totally misrepresented.
You have two options at this point: continue to argue your point, even through this could result in the loss of fellowship with that brother or sister in Christ, or simply accept a faulty defeat. Most of the time we choose the latter. There is, however, a neat technique that you can avoid this situation from happening: the reverse argument technique.
It is quite simply: all you have to do is say ‘to make sure that you understand my perspective fully, I want you to argue my point, and I will argue your’s. If they are not willing to argue your point, this simply means they are ignorant and/or close minded to your view-point, and there is no point of continuing. If they can argue you point accurately yet still disagree. Well then, there is a possibility that you could be wrong, and you should reconsider your views, with considerations to their possibly accurate assessment. Thus, the reverse argument technique.
God bless you; abide in the fear and admiration of the Lord all the days of your life. Love God with your…mind…
