The road to adultery is unclear for some. Many ignorantly assume that adultery is a spontaneous act that cannot be systematically calculated or predicted. The mass majority of the public does not realize, or just does not want to admit, that it begins not when you simply have sex outside of your marriage but with a very dangerous and tempting mindset. Adultery is a process. The Awakening, by Kate Chopin, sheds light on the process of adultery.
Peoples actions and behaviors are not dictated by instincts or emotional impulses. Instead, the actions people do are rooted by an attitude or a perspective. This is no exception in the failure of a marriage. The first step to the ultimate collapse of a marriage is when you perceive that your husband or wife is not enough: you are not content or satisfied, or that there are better pleasures outside of your spousal relationship. This belief or perspective, if allowed to grow, will consume you, eventually leading a person to search elsewhere for that happiness, pleasure, or satisfaction. We see this very phenomenon in Edna Pontellier. She evidently became dissatisfied with her role as a mother and wife and began to wonder what outside of her covenantal relationship could satisfy her growing impulses.
Once the attitude of discontentedness becomes the dominant ideology in an individual’s marriage, disaster, usually in the form of unfaithfulness, is the corresponding effect. Individuals do not take heed to these sinful opportunities until these newfound desires begin to master them. These opportunities have always been present, but without the perception of the ‘grass being greener on the other side,’ there is no motivation to act on these opportunities. Without such a motivation, one does not even realize this opportunities even exist, let alone act on them. Mrs. Pontellier finds herself in this very situation. She became discontent with her life, even her marriage. In this weak state she realized that she had the opportunity to make a new friend, Robert, a younger man that she could possibly have passion with: something she was lacking with her husband. Someone who she perceived as interesting, newer, and an all around better person than her husband.
The phenomenon of emotional cheating begins once both the perception and the opportunity have become established in the individual. Mrs. Pontellier become an emotional cheater when she befriended Robert. She progressively felt more detachment from her husband and children, each and every day that she would emotionally cheat with Robert. The emotional cheating stage is very unstable – you either turn back and recuperate the relationship with your husband, or you progressively fall into full adultery; you cannot continue to merely emotionally cheat.
Unfortunately, once you have already begun to emotionally cheat on your spouse, there usually is no turning back; since your lustful, sinful desires for cheating are far greater than your desires to live a holy, covenantal relationship with your spouse. Emotional cheating has a compounding effect. It starts off with just emotional attachment for someone outside of your marriage. This grows into lustful desires, which lead into physical cheating – as in kissing, holding hands, hugging, etc. Following this comes the actual act of adultery. This process is clearly made manifest in Edna’s sinful story; she went through this sinful cycle exactly, moving from emotional cheating, to sexual desires, to touching, to finally the act of adultery.
Sin never brings about true sustained happiness. In Edna’s story, even though her cheating and adulteress acts were fairly successful, she found herself just as, if not more, unhappy as she was before. There is no satisfaction to be gained in sinning against God and not walking in his will.
The story of Edna Pontellier is a great illustration of this reality. God’s way is always the right way. Her main dilemma was her skewed perception of her life and role in the family as a woman. She sought satisfaction outside of her roles and responsibilities as a mother, a wife, and a slave to God almighty. This is folly that should not be imitated. A smart man learns from his own mistakes; a wise man learns from the mistakes of others.
Inscribed by Martin, Stephanie
Edited by Martin, Jamie
